Rites of Passage; the documentary

Hey everybody! I hope everybody out there is doing well, and I hope that if you're involved in a Rite of Passage ritual that all is going especially well! God bless you on your initiative, and obedience to disciple your sons.

I have some rather interesting news for those that are following my blog (when I do my part and blog...LOL), I'm presently making arrangements to develop a documentary that will cover Wil's (my oldest boy) rite of passage to include my testimony that brought me to the realization that I had to be more than a father that was just sitting in the stands checking the blocks. I had a rather informal meeting through the Lord's providence, that should culminate into a formal meeting this coming week or next regarding this incredible voyage that the Lord put me on this time last year. My hopes and prayers are that we can catch the essence of this voyage on film, and more importantly the incredible message behind it that's the driving force that God has laid on my heart. This may be the beginning of a great ministry opportunity, we'll see what our glorious Father has in mind. Having said that please keep my in your prayers.

The past months for me (and you as well) have had numerous blessings, challenges and hiccups associated with them. My father had the joy of coming out and spending time with me and the boys. We had our 2nd annual regional Security Forces Ball here on the Gulf Coast. My wife being pregnant didn't feel pretty enough to go with me this year, and my arguments to the contrary were completely useless. Finally I figured I'd get my dad to go. He hadn't been in uniform since 1994 when he had retired from the Navy as an E-8 Senior Chief Boatswains Mate. We got dressed up and boy did he look sharp. It was real honor to stand next to him in uniform, I love my dad!! We also had the joy of going on a deep sea fishing trip in 4 to 5 foot seas, BARF!! There is a reason why I'm in the Air Force now. As you can see from the pics we did quite well, in spite of our efforts to chum the waters for shark!

After our great time and the return to the everyday grind of work I got the call that my grandmother had passed in her sleep on a Saturday afternoon. Wow, 87 years old, she went to sleep and passed on into eternity. That's the way to go.

June rolled around and my precious newly adopted baby girl of 6 months (she's actually 15 months old) decided to break her arm at the growth plate. The "Princess" slipped on a book and busted her arm as she reached back to catch herself I guess. Go figure! 14 years of rip roaring boys, who have smacked each other with swords, clubbed each other, speared each other, and forked each other, yes I said forked, but never a broken bone, not one bone. But my dear precious Princess ends up with three screws in her arm, go figure. Anyway she's doing great, she's been out of the cast for a couple of weeks and is twirling around in the living room.

Life is good, so good. In spite of loss and accidents God is faithful and continues to bless so richly.

God Bless all of you and keep the faith.

Your brother from another mother,

Joe

To Win the Hearts and Minds

Good Afternoon,

Down here in the panhandle we have a new unit coming to town, the 7th Special Forces Group. This is a great addition to the area for many reasons, but mainly for the economy, and selfishly for new playmates to train with.

When allot of people think of special forces they think of the last 9 years of warfare, and all the DA or direct action missions that they've been involved with and the association with the Hollywood films, The Green Berets, and Rambo etc... The primary mission of SF before 911 was mostly FID or Foreign Internal Defense. They would train indigenous forces how to fight, in doing this they would have to "Win the Hearts and Minds", of those people that they would be responsible for training or helping.

Hmmm...winning the hearts and minds, you know that this applies to us as Christians, and more importantly as fathers and mothers. We are in the process (hopefully) of mentoring and discipling our children, but unfortunately we are not the only ones that are trying to compete for the hearts and minds of our kids. Our culture has an insatiable appetite for young minds, and lives to devour and destroy. Therefore we must always be in pursuit for our children's hearts, we can't assume that they are absorbing our example passively through osmosis, learning is an active process. So once again we must be in pursuit of the hearts and minds of our children.

I charge you with this, that when there is a mission of great importance, a mission that requires exceptional skill sets on behalf of the operator, the US doesn't send the average soldier to get the job done, they send the best of the best, men that are best equipped to get the mission done, Special Forces. I would submit to you that when it comes to winning the hearts and minds of your children, God doesn't task the preacher, or the Sunday school teacher, or the youth group leader, he tasks the specialist, that individual that is best equipped to make a difference in the life of that child, the parents.

God Bless,

Joe Stapp

Life Happens

Good Morning Everybody!

I haven't visited in a while and I know that I am long over due for a post. So here it is.

One of the problems that I've been having lately is time, time to follow through with the numerous projects that I've got going, and still maintain my priorities. I think that this by far is the greatest weapon in the Devil's armory. If he can just keep us busy we begin to lose focus on what our priorities should be. We become overwhelmed with what I call 5 meter targets that we don't have time to engage the 25, 50, and 100 meter targets. (If this analogy doesn't make sense to you it's a military reference, you always engage the enemy that is closest to you, ie...5 meter, 10 meter, 200 meter targets etc....) It's at that time that you just have to readjust and make plan. It's the same with our personal time (Prayer, devotions, etc...) with the Lord, family time, our physical fitness and so on. If you don't have a battle plan, if you don't intentionally plan the things that are important to you, or rather the things that should be important to you they get neglected.

For me I've fallen off the horse with the Rite of Passage, some what. I take intentional time to talk to the boys about issues, and have devotions with them but I'm not being as diligent on the tracking side of the house. I've committed to take Sunday afternoons after church to check the boys progress and see how everything is coming along. This will help us stay on track and keep an intentional goal in mind.

Well I gotta run, I'm gonna try to stay in line with posting weekly, so please stay tuned for next week.

God Bless All of You!

Joe

A New Beginning

Hey everybody! Sorry about the delay in posts, the holiday season has been a major turning point in the lives of our family. Let me explain; we've been in the midst of an adoption process that has lasted for the better part of about 28 months. You heard right, 28 months, thank God it's done. Keep in mind that the typical adoption is usually only about a year.

I left off with the Right of Passage back in November after we presented Alec with his book. It was shortly after that, that we had been getting updates that our time was nearing for us to go to Ethiopia. It was expected to be before the end of 2009. If I've got my timeline right it was shortly after that the date was being pushed back to next year, due to problems in the Ethiopian Court, and then we were back on schedule to go again, and the roller coaster just kept going up and down. Finally we were left waiting for travel dates from the Embassy, crazy, crazy! Anyway, the date finally came down, we were leaving Christmas day, we had to be in Adiss Ababa, Ethiopia by the 26th of December, WOW!! So Christmas came a day early for the boys and my beautiful niece. The next week was spent going to the orphanage to pick up our long awaited daughter, Eliana Nigist Stapp. (Nigist is her Ethiopian name, translated means "Queen". Her name is part of her heritage so we wanted to keep it). Anyway lets get back on track, that week following Christmas day was life changing
we ran constantly in preparation of our return to the states, a visit to the US Embassy, assisting the orphanage as they moved to another location etc, etc... As you know I'm in the military and have travelled to a few places in my career, not to mention travelling with my folks when I was younger, I've seen poverty, but never like this. I thank God for the opportunity to save the life of at least one child, and if not to save her life at least to have provided a better one.

"Where does this fit into the Right of Passage?" you might ask, initially I'd say it doesn't, but then I'd have to rethink it, and my reply is what an example for my boys! Christ adopted us into his family, much the same way we adopted Eliana into ours. She was a faceless foreigner, half a world away, one that didn't even exist a year ago, and guess what? Now she's my daughter, she's their sister, she's now apart of our family, and most importantly she's being raised in a God fearing home in hopes that one day she'll be a culture changer, much the same way that I'm raising her brothers to be. Christ on the other hand pulled us out of utter darkness, orphans of a dark and cruel world where we were nameless to the masses. But guess what? He knew our name and took us in as His own, and clothed us and fed us, and now we're spoken for, for all eternity. Thank you Jesus!

I say all this in hopes that you will pick up the torch somehow, someway. I'm not saying that you have to do what I did, that's between you and God. The scripture is specific though, read Deut 10:18, it says that we are to care for the widows, the orphans, and the foreigners among us. What part are you playing? Have you thought of investing in the life of a child at Church, the neighborhood or through a mentoring program? How about sponsoring a child? There are so many options out there, just find one and do it. I pray that you'll consider adoption though, I pray that God calls you to taking in a child into your home for you to love and disciple for God's greater plan. I assure you that you'll never be the same, we may not be able to save the world on our own, but if every believer did their part we'd be off to an amazing start. If you have any questions about adoption we'll be more than happy to share our story on a personal level with you.

God Bless

Joe

All rights reserved.

12 Years Old!!

Good morning!

Well it's official in the Stapp household, 12 years old has a whole new meaning. Thanksgiving Day, in the presence of several family members we celebrated Alec's twelfth birthday. It was at that time that he was given his last birthday present by his mother and I. He had no clue, that it was his initiation into his Rite of Passage. What an exciting moment, a little awkward I must admit being that it was our first time. Anytime a new tradition is implemented it can be strange at first. Just remember we as men are usually are own worst critics.

Nevertheless, the Rite of Passage is taking root in our household and I'm so excited. Last night me and Alec sat down and went page by page through his binder as to what his requirements are that need to be completed over the course of the next year. It was a good time of one on one conversation with my second born son, discussing, better yet discipling my son and showing him why the Stapp Family believes what it believes. What an incredible tool.

I would like some feedback from those of you out there, are any of you starting your own Rites of Passage? If so email me at jmstapp@embarqmail.com, and put "Rite of Passage" in the subject block.

Once again I'll keep you posted as things progress. Also do me a favor, if you like the concepts that you are seeing on this blog spread the word to your friends, it would be much appreciated!

God Bless,

Joe

Another Chapter

Hey Everybody!



Well it's been awhile, and as you can see I've got an update. Nothing really major but never the less it's another chapter in the lives of our family so I'm excited. I think that I've commented before on creating a continuity book for my boy's rite of passage, if not here it goes.


All you "Cats" in the DoD, or Dept of Defense or probably any type of government agency are well aware of continuity books. They are specific books for a particular program, be it Safety, Security Manager, Anti Terrorism / Force Protection, Govt Travel Card, etc, etc and the list goes on and on. I went ahead and designed one for the boys which includes "The Plan" and other aspects of the "Rite of Passage". It's just a nice way to keep all of his paperwork in order.


Wil at this point has a binder, it's rather plane jane so I started thinking on what I can do to spruce it up. What I came up with is fairly squared away, and I believe that it meshes exactly with what I want to accomplish with my sons. I went and bought a plain binder that I got from an "Arts & Crafts" store. I ventured down the (shhhhhhh) scrapbook isle, I know, I know, my "Man Card" is at risk here. I was very careful to get in and get out, QUICK! LOL...Anyway the point is that I got some stuff to really personalize Wil's "Rite of Passage" book. That way it's not just some meaningless binder with important papers in it. It becomes an all important document that they will maintain for years to come. It can become a journal among many other things that has significant meaning that he'll be able to show his kids one day, hopefully.


Well here is the next chapter that I was speaking of earlier, Alec's birthday is next week, November 25th. I'm so excited because now I can go even further to help establish Christian tradition within our family. That being the formal issue of the "Rite of Passage" to Alec on his twelfth birthday, how exciting. This is where the continuity book fits in, it will be given as one of his birthday presents in front of family. The cool thing is that it will be wrapped and once again it's a customized binder, so that it's special and not just some mundane looking document. He will be presented this gift in front of all of his brothers, once again establishing among his brothers the anticipation of the "Rite of Passage", and the transition to "Biblical Manhood".

It is at this time that when Alec opens his gift he'll be read into "The Stapp Family, Sarcalogos Ritus of Obduco, (Christian Rite of Passage)". It is here that he will be read into what we do and why we do it, in addition to the rules that govern it's progression. You may want to do the same thing or you may want to change it, do what's good for you. I've pasted it below for your review.

The Stapp Family

Sarcalogos Ritus of Obduco

(Christian Rite of Passage)

Est August of 2009 by William J. Stapp IV

The Stapp Family "Sarcalogos Ritus of Obduco", exists to establish and solidify a foundational moral and spiritual bearing that is required for all Stapp men from this time forth. This moral and spiritual bearing is essential to the Stapp Family vision of multigenerational faithfulness and discipleship, necessary to forever impact circle of influence for Christ.

Each male child within the Stapp Family, at the age of twelve will begin his quest for "Biblical Manhood". Upon his 12th birthday the gift from his father and mother will be the outline of the "Sarcalogos Ritus of Obduco" which from here forth shall be referred to as the "SRO". Here in is the culmination of the teaching and discipleship that his mother and I have invested in him since birth or adoption to this point.

The "SRO" will not be forced, as manhood and spiritual maturity cannot be forced. The candidate has a minimum of a year to complete the tasks set before him. The Crucible within the "SRO" may not be initiated before the child's 13th birthday.

Successful completion of the "SRO" and the associated Crucible will result in that individual, being recognized as young man within the Stapp Family. Such recognition will be accompanied by certain privileges known only to young within the house that have completed the "SRO".

1. Written contract honoring the son's recognition of being a man.

2. No specific bedtime. (Trial basis, based on maturity)

3. No longer needs to ask to be excused from the dinner table.

4. At 14 may seek employment outside the home, however, 20% of paycheck will be required towards household expenses. This also identifies the young man as a productive member of the Stapp Family household.

5. Becomes a contributing member of the Stapp Family Council.

6. Chores will transition from that of a boy's to a man's.

7. Space allowing the individual may be allotted his own room.

8. Discipline will be conducted significantly differently, the man will be addressed as any other man in the church who is in need of admonishment.

It is the hope and prayers of Mary my wife, and myself that this "SRO", will bring to life the spiritual, moral, and physical principles that we have planted in the hearts of our sons. That our boys will come to recognize who they are in Christ, and take up the sword and shield as Christian Warriors engaged in spiritual battle with a culture that seeks to dismantle the very principles that seek to save souls from eternal darkness.

Well there it is, do with it what you will. Talk to you later.

Joe

??? Tonights Question ???

Hey everybody, I hope you all are well, and finding Biblical truths of your own out there. Wil is doing his thing, as I mentioned before, be diligent when you do this thing and check out your sons progress. Something that I'm needing to do this week.

Tonight I want to ask you the question, "When did you become a man"? Before we get started I urge you, please leave a response to this question, I'm curious to your response on this matter. Keep in mind that you may need to sign in to blogger.com to be able to leave a response.

I've been asking myself this question the last several months. Honestly I didn't put allot of thought into it until the last couple of weeks, I guess because I really didn't know the answer, and that prospect can be a bit of a downer if you're struggling with it or trying to find that defining moment so that you can relate it to this project. Admittedly it's not a question that seems real important, one that you might even shrug off until you really put some thought into it. That was me, until I started connecting the dots of my life, and then I began to see how relevant this question truly is. It's importance at first glance, is oh so subtle, but holy cow the ramifications I would venture to say can be catastrophic to some. Anyway you decide as I share. Once again not a big topic at first glance, but truly a "Psychological Iceberg", if you get my analogy.

Alright down to where the rubber meets the road, let's get dirty! When did I become a man? Initially I wasn't sure, there was no great epiphany, no burning bush, and no bright lights. I had no recollection of that all solidifying moment that I looked back with pride and said with the backdrop of a choir singing "I'M NOW A MAN"! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA! Nope, nada, NOTHING!! HOW THE FLIP CAN I CONDUCT A RITE OF PASSAGE FOR MY SON, AND NOT KNOW WHEN I BECAME A MAN?!?! Sense the frustration now? Oh yea, a seemingly innocent question is now a thorn in my side.

My folks raised me to be a man of honesty, a hard worker, and a patriot. My Father was a military man, veteran of 2 wars, played a part in the Apollo missions before my birth, and played a role in the movie "The Winds of War", wear he actually had a speaking part. For you full contact fighters, go back to the late 60's and early 70's wear guys like Skipper and Moon Mullens were friends of my dad's, you say who?? These are guys that all hung out together with Chuck Norris, in his dojo in Long Beach California. That's my "Ole Man", my hero! I didn't have posters of Def Lepard, Bruce Lee, or whoever, just my dad to look up to. I use to look at my dad's uniform and count the ribbon rack, when he wore dress whites or the black dress uniform, he had rows of medals. He looked like a darn general, well he was Navy so admiral, nevertheless he was my hero. But...he wasn't the spiritual leader of his house, he didn't talk with me about my relationship with Christ, he didn't challenge me with my walk. All the things that a Godly man is suppose to do. It was my mom who told me don't sleep around, not him, you can imagine what I did. Maybe if my father had relayed the importance of purity I would've paid more merit to it, maybe not...it's kinda late now. Anyway, I love my father, my father is a great man, he just didn't have an involved father to teach him what a father needs to be. As I was saying my folks raised me to be a patriot, and a patriot is what I became.

So the question "When did I become a man"? I became a worldly man at the age of 20 when I joined the military, when I surrendered myself to something greater than myself, these United States...but is that the man I need to be as a professing Christian? Is that enough? I guess if you're destined to be a second rate christian, because you don't see yourself as a Child of the King. Don't miss the point, the military in this country is an honorable profession read on and you'll understand wear I'm going with this. I was saved at the age of 12, and floundered as a Christian for 24 years, 24 yrs!! Are you hearing me, for 24 years I lived the life of a man who lived by the seat of his pants, one who claimed to be an "Eclectic Personality" because I didn't know what to do with my life. I was empty, I chased the military through the Navy reserve and it was time to go to war "HELL YEA"! Now it's my turn to serve my country in battle, just like my dad, except the war ended a month before I was slotted to go, bummer. The Navy wasn't enough, I needed my name associated with "Bad Ass" so I joined the Army as an infantryman, a shooter, I'll get some action there. I went to airborne school, (yea that'll make me more of a man) I joined the Ranger Community back in '95, (oh yea! That'll make me more of a man). I've got airborne wings on my chest, and my ribbon rack was growing, gonna be just like my dad. But I'm telling you it wasn't enough. I got out just to go back in after 9-11 when the towers went down. This time the Air Force, I went to the 919 SOW and was assigned to a special unit to rub shoulders with men who were doing incredible things for the war effort, I've never seen so many Silver Stars, Bronze Stars, Flying Crosses, Air Medals, HOLY COW!! Now's my chance to get some action, and I waited to deploy. When the time came for me to potentially go I was in a tech school, DARN!! That is strike 2, then came another war woohoo! Here's my chance again gonna be a combat vet just like my dad, gonna cut my teeth in battle and do my part for my country, well guess what when the "secret mission" came down for 10 volunteers I was 20 miles away, first come first serve, strike 3! Oh well, I'm destined to ride a bench my whole military career, so be it my day will come.

Subconsciously, I've chased the image of my earthly father for almost 20 years. Mary has watched me flounder because a lack of vision, she's watched me chase after thrills and accolades, and then she's watched me struggle with why I feel so empty. When did I become a man I don't know, I don't know that I ever became one, all I've ever done is chase the shadow of one.

When did I become a man, let me tell you I think back on it and I can't give you an exact date, but I know this, it's only been within the last couple of years. I became a man, a biblical man when I surrendered myself completely to something greater than me, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I'm not talking a second rate faith, I'm talking wear I've tried to commit every aspect of my life to his glory. I feel a difference, I live with a purpose now, I'm no longer "Eclectic". I'm a man with a divine holy purpose to serve God and to raise my children to glorify him and to understand who they are in him. I'm a man.

As you read this do you begin to understand how the perception of an empty life can be so dangerous. The only reason I'm married today is because God blessed me with a Godly wife that stuck with me through all my crap, a wife that hung on praying that I would realize my worth in Christ and the blessings that he has given me. Thank you Jesus for Mary.

These verses bring me comfort, Joel 2:12, 13, & 25

12"Yet even now", declares the Lord, "Return to me with all your heart, and with fasting, weeping and mourning;
13 And rend your heart and not your garments" Now return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger , abounding in loving kindness and relenting to evil.
25Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten...

You know a couple months ago I beat my dad in the ribbon race, and you know what, they are just plastic, cloth and medal.

God Bless

Joe