??? Tonights Question ???

Hey everybody, I hope you all are well, and finding Biblical truths of your own out there. Wil is doing his thing, as I mentioned before, be diligent when you do this thing and check out your sons progress. Something that I'm needing to do this week.

Tonight I want to ask you the question, "When did you become a man"? Before we get started I urge you, please leave a response to this question, I'm curious to your response on this matter. Keep in mind that you may need to sign in to blogger.com to be able to leave a response.

I've been asking myself this question the last several months. Honestly I didn't put allot of thought into it until the last couple of weeks, I guess because I really didn't know the answer, and that prospect can be a bit of a downer if you're struggling with it or trying to find that defining moment so that you can relate it to this project. Admittedly it's not a question that seems real important, one that you might even shrug off until you really put some thought into it. That was me, until I started connecting the dots of my life, and then I began to see how relevant this question truly is. It's importance at first glance, is oh so subtle, but holy cow the ramifications I would venture to say can be catastrophic to some. Anyway you decide as I share. Once again not a big topic at first glance, but truly a "Psychological Iceberg", if you get my analogy.

Alright down to where the rubber meets the road, let's get dirty! When did I become a man? Initially I wasn't sure, there was no great epiphany, no burning bush, and no bright lights. I had no recollection of that all solidifying moment that I looked back with pride and said with the backdrop of a choir singing "I'M NOW A MAN"! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA! Nope, nada, NOTHING!! HOW THE FLIP CAN I CONDUCT A RITE OF PASSAGE FOR MY SON, AND NOT KNOW WHEN I BECAME A MAN?!?! Sense the frustration now? Oh yea, a seemingly innocent question is now a thorn in my side.

My folks raised me to be a man of honesty, a hard worker, and a patriot. My Father was a military man, veteran of 2 wars, played a part in the Apollo missions before my birth, and played a role in the movie "The Winds of War", wear he actually had a speaking part. For you full contact fighters, go back to the late 60's and early 70's wear guys like Skipper and Moon Mullens were friends of my dad's, you say who?? These are guys that all hung out together with Chuck Norris, in his dojo in Long Beach California. That's my "Ole Man", my hero! I didn't have posters of Def Lepard, Bruce Lee, or whoever, just my dad to look up to. I use to look at my dad's uniform and count the ribbon rack, when he wore dress whites or the black dress uniform, he had rows of medals. He looked like a darn general, well he was Navy so admiral, nevertheless he was my hero. But...he wasn't the spiritual leader of his house, he didn't talk with me about my relationship with Christ, he didn't challenge me with my walk. All the things that a Godly man is suppose to do. It was my mom who told me don't sleep around, not him, you can imagine what I did. Maybe if my father had relayed the importance of purity I would've paid more merit to it, maybe not...it's kinda late now. Anyway, I love my father, my father is a great man, he just didn't have an involved father to teach him what a father needs to be. As I was saying my folks raised me to be a patriot, and a patriot is what I became.

So the question "When did I become a man"? I became a worldly man at the age of 20 when I joined the military, when I surrendered myself to something greater than myself, these United States...but is that the man I need to be as a professing Christian? Is that enough? I guess if you're destined to be a second rate christian, because you don't see yourself as a Child of the King. Don't miss the point, the military in this country is an honorable profession read on and you'll understand wear I'm going with this. I was saved at the age of 12, and floundered as a Christian for 24 years, 24 yrs!! Are you hearing me, for 24 years I lived the life of a man who lived by the seat of his pants, one who claimed to be an "Eclectic Personality" because I didn't know what to do with my life. I was empty, I chased the military through the Navy reserve and it was time to go to war "HELL YEA"! Now it's my turn to serve my country in battle, just like my dad, except the war ended a month before I was slotted to go, bummer. The Navy wasn't enough, I needed my name associated with "Bad Ass" so I joined the Army as an infantryman, a shooter, I'll get some action there. I went to airborne school, (yea that'll make me more of a man) I joined the Ranger Community back in '95, (oh yea! That'll make me more of a man). I've got airborne wings on my chest, and my ribbon rack was growing, gonna be just like my dad. But I'm telling you it wasn't enough. I got out just to go back in after 9-11 when the towers went down. This time the Air Force, I went to the 919 SOW and was assigned to a special unit to rub shoulders with men who were doing incredible things for the war effort, I've never seen so many Silver Stars, Bronze Stars, Flying Crosses, Air Medals, HOLY COW!! Now's my chance to get some action, and I waited to deploy. When the time came for me to potentially go I was in a tech school, DARN!! That is strike 2, then came another war woohoo! Here's my chance again gonna be a combat vet just like my dad, gonna cut my teeth in battle and do my part for my country, well guess what when the "secret mission" came down for 10 volunteers I was 20 miles away, first come first serve, strike 3! Oh well, I'm destined to ride a bench my whole military career, so be it my day will come.

Subconsciously, I've chased the image of my earthly father for almost 20 years. Mary has watched me flounder because a lack of vision, she's watched me chase after thrills and accolades, and then she's watched me struggle with why I feel so empty. When did I become a man I don't know, I don't know that I ever became one, all I've ever done is chase the shadow of one.

When did I become a man, let me tell you I think back on it and I can't give you an exact date, but I know this, it's only been within the last couple of years. I became a man, a biblical man when I surrendered myself completely to something greater than me, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I'm not talking a second rate faith, I'm talking wear I've tried to commit every aspect of my life to his glory. I feel a difference, I live with a purpose now, I'm no longer "Eclectic". I'm a man with a divine holy purpose to serve God and to raise my children to glorify him and to understand who they are in him. I'm a man.

As you read this do you begin to understand how the perception of an empty life can be so dangerous. The only reason I'm married today is because God blessed me with a Godly wife that stuck with me through all my crap, a wife that hung on praying that I would realize my worth in Christ and the blessings that he has given me. Thank you Jesus for Mary.

These verses bring me comfort, Joel 2:12, 13, & 25

12"Yet even now", declares the Lord, "Return to me with all your heart, and with fasting, weeping and mourning;
13 And rend your heart and not your garments" Now return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger , abounding in loving kindness and relenting to evil.
25Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten...

You know a couple months ago I beat my dad in the ribbon race, and you know what, they are just plastic, cloth and medal.

God Bless

Joe