??? Tonights Question ???

Hey everybody, I hope you all are well, and finding Biblical truths of your own out there. Wil is doing his thing, as I mentioned before, be diligent when you do this thing and check out your sons progress. Something that I'm needing to do this week.

Tonight I want to ask you the question, "When did you become a man"? Before we get started I urge you, please leave a response to this question, I'm curious to your response on this matter. Keep in mind that you may need to sign in to blogger.com to be able to leave a response.

I've been asking myself this question the last several months. Honestly I didn't put allot of thought into it until the last couple of weeks, I guess because I really didn't know the answer, and that prospect can be a bit of a downer if you're struggling with it or trying to find that defining moment so that you can relate it to this project. Admittedly it's not a question that seems real important, one that you might even shrug off until you really put some thought into it. That was me, until I started connecting the dots of my life, and then I began to see how relevant this question truly is. It's importance at first glance, is oh so subtle, but holy cow the ramifications I would venture to say can be catastrophic to some. Anyway you decide as I share. Once again not a big topic at first glance, but truly a "Psychological Iceberg", if you get my analogy.

Alright down to where the rubber meets the road, let's get dirty! When did I become a man? Initially I wasn't sure, there was no great epiphany, no burning bush, and no bright lights. I had no recollection of that all solidifying moment that I looked back with pride and said with the backdrop of a choir singing "I'M NOW A MAN"! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA! Nope, nada, NOTHING!! HOW THE FLIP CAN I CONDUCT A RITE OF PASSAGE FOR MY SON, AND NOT KNOW WHEN I BECAME A MAN?!?! Sense the frustration now? Oh yea, a seemingly innocent question is now a thorn in my side.

My folks raised me to be a man of honesty, a hard worker, and a patriot. My Father was a military man, veteran of 2 wars, played a part in the Apollo missions before my birth, and played a role in the movie "The Winds of War", wear he actually had a speaking part. For you full contact fighters, go back to the late 60's and early 70's wear guys like Skipper and Moon Mullens were friends of my dad's, you say who?? These are guys that all hung out together with Chuck Norris, in his dojo in Long Beach California. That's my "Ole Man", my hero! I didn't have posters of Def Lepard, Bruce Lee, or whoever, just my dad to look up to. I use to look at my dad's uniform and count the ribbon rack, when he wore dress whites or the black dress uniform, he had rows of medals. He looked like a darn general, well he was Navy so admiral, nevertheless he was my hero. But...he wasn't the spiritual leader of his house, he didn't talk with me about my relationship with Christ, he didn't challenge me with my walk. All the things that a Godly man is suppose to do. It was my mom who told me don't sleep around, not him, you can imagine what I did. Maybe if my father had relayed the importance of purity I would've paid more merit to it, maybe not...it's kinda late now. Anyway, I love my father, my father is a great man, he just didn't have an involved father to teach him what a father needs to be. As I was saying my folks raised me to be a patriot, and a patriot is what I became.

So the question "When did I become a man"? I became a worldly man at the age of 20 when I joined the military, when I surrendered myself to something greater than myself, these United States...but is that the man I need to be as a professing Christian? Is that enough? I guess if you're destined to be a second rate christian, because you don't see yourself as a Child of the King. Don't miss the point, the military in this country is an honorable profession read on and you'll understand wear I'm going with this. I was saved at the age of 12, and floundered as a Christian for 24 years, 24 yrs!! Are you hearing me, for 24 years I lived the life of a man who lived by the seat of his pants, one who claimed to be an "Eclectic Personality" because I didn't know what to do with my life. I was empty, I chased the military through the Navy reserve and it was time to go to war "HELL YEA"! Now it's my turn to serve my country in battle, just like my dad, except the war ended a month before I was slotted to go, bummer. The Navy wasn't enough, I needed my name associated with "Bad Ass" so I joined the Army as an infantryman, a shooter, I'll get some action there. I went to airborne school, (yea that'll make me more of a man) I joined the Ranger Community back in '95, (oh yea! That'll make me more of a man). I've got airborne wings on my chest, and my ribbon rack was growing, gonna be just like my dad. But I'm telling you it wasn't enough. I got out just to go back in after 9-11 when the towers went down. This time the Air Force, I went to the 919 SOW and was assigned to a special unit to rub shoulders with men who were doing incredible things for the war effort, I've never seen so many Silver Stars, Bronze Stars, Flying Crosses, Air Medals, HOLY COW!! Now's my chance to get some action, and I waited to deploy. When the time came for me to potentially go I was in a tech school, DARN!! That is strike 2, then came another war woohoo! Here's my chance again gonna be a combat vet just like my dad, gonna cut my teeth in battle and do my part for my country, well guess what when the "secret mission" came down for 10 volunteers I was 20 miles away, first come first serve, strike 3! Oh well, I'm destined to ride a bench my whole military career, so be it my day will come.

Subconsciously, I've chased the image of my earthly father for almost 20 years. Mary has watched me flounder because a lack of vision, she's watched me chase after thrills and accolades, and then she's watched me struggle with why I feel so empty. When did I become a man I don't know, I don't know that I ever became one, all I've ever done is chase the shadow of one.

When did I become a man, let me tell you I think back on it and I can't give you an exact date, but I know this, it's only been within the last couple of years. I became a man, a biblical man when I surrendered myself completely to something greater than me, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I'm not talking a second rate faith, I'm talking wear I've tried to commit every aspect of my life to his glory. I feel a difference, I live with a purpose now, I'm no longer "Eclectic". I'm a man with a divine holy purpose to serve God and to raise my children to glorify him and to understand who they are in him. I'm a man.

As you read this do you begin to understand how the perception of an empty life can be so dangerous. The only reason I'm married today is because God blessed me with a Godly wife that stuck with me through all my crap, a wife that hung on praying that I would realize my worth in Christ and the blessings that he has given me. Thank you Jesus for Mary.

These verses bring me comfort, Joel 2:12, 13, & 25

12"Yet even now", declares the Lord, "Return to me with all your heart, and with fasting, weeping and mourning;
13 And rend your heart and not your garments" Now return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger , abounding in loving kindness and relenting to evil.
25Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten...

You know a couple months ago I beat my dad in the ribbon race, and you know what, they are just plastic, cloth and medal.

God Bless

Joe

Little Victories & Challenges

I was so excited for my boys (Wil & Alec) yesterday. They ran their 1st 5K! It was awesome!! My only regret was that this was suppose to a "Father & Sons Event", for me however, a recent surgery proved otherwise. I'm down with NO PT for 6 weeks. Oh well, the boys had a blast and are looking forward for the next one when I can run with them, what a blessing and a time of bonding that will be.

It's good to take the time to challenge your boys before they conduct their rite of passage. In fact you should be challenging them on a regular basis, this allows them to find out for themselves what they are able of achieving on their own, and it also gives you a gauge of how far you can push them in a way that builds their self esteem and the camaraderie between the two of you, without breaking the spirit of your son. I have seen father's (as I'm sure you have too) so often on the wrestling mat, the gridiron, or the baseball diamond pushing their children beyond what they are capable of, and blowing up and acting the fool, when their son fails to live up to their expectations. I'll admit, at times I have been guilty of this very sin, are you? Fortunately my wife has been their to correct me and I've adjusted accordingly, however, some fathers are worse than others and unfortunately there is no talking to them about it.

We need to understand our sons limitations, especially when it comes to the Crucible of a rite of passage, or even the brain work that precedes the Crucible. I have had to "adjust fire", or redirect my plans and expectations for this rite of passage regarding my oldest son Wil. Number one, as discussed before in earlier posts I just got this plan nailed down. I'm sure you'll agree that there is nothing worse than trying to hit a moving target, well that's exactly what I presented to Wil when I started my blog, a moving target! If you follow this blog regularly you can see from a few posts ago, that I finally got this thing down. Having said that as he's engaging it and addressing the tasks at hand, it's possible that he may not be able to do the Crucible till after the New Year, and that's ok. Initially I thought November, now I'm thinking February, in saying that be flexible. Manhood can't be forced, nor can the skill sets necessary for manhood be coerced if you haven't been training them the whole time, some unknowingly of course.


The time leading up to the crucible is precious, I've grown and continue to grow as this thing progresses. I'm a better man for having taken on this task, and as a result I've been more deliberate about getting my spiritual house in order. Let things progress normally and don't belabor your child's progress. Be sure to encourage him and help him stay on track, but don't make this a chore. This is something that he should cherish and remember with fond memories. Stay the course and finish the race, make sure you challenge your sons along the way.

Enjoy the ride, you only get one turn.

Until Next Time,

Joe Stapp

Something special to share!!!!!

Hey Everybody!

I'm so excited, and had to share with everybody a recent event within the Stapp household. All of those who know me personally, and from the blog know that I have four wonderful boys. What you may not know is that we have been in the middle of a two year process of an international adoption involving the country of Ethiopia.

What a journey it has been, the most of which I must admit weighs on the shoulders of my wife Mary. She's been the administrative powerhouse involving this, and rightfully so because she is the organized, and meticulous one. Any how, we finally got the call Tuesday night that we had a child, (WOOHOO!!!!) finally the moment among many that we've been waiting for. Her name is Nigist, which in Ethiopian means "Queen", and well deserved it is. Well, she'll get demoted to "Princess", I have room for one "Queen" in this household and that's my precious "Bangel", Mary.

I must confess that as I talked to this woman on the other end of the line (Mary was out running errands) about this little angel who is currently about 7 months old, I almost cried. She was talking about my little girl, a precious little lady that has eluded us since we began having our boys. Don't be mistaken I wouldn't change a thing, I'm raising four boys who will be warriors against a culture that is slowly killing itself and taking our nation with it. Back to my point, a beautiful little girl.

Hears the bad news, we still have three to five months to go before we can get her. "THAT SUCKS!!!" But we'll continue to trust in the Lord and his timing, although I am praying for a "Christmas Baby". I'll continue to keep you posted as we progress in this process.

Oh for you out there that might be wondering, "Why an international adoption, and not a domestic, don't we have enough of our own to take care of?" Why yes we do have plenty of our own to take care of, what are you doing about it? Secondly, poverty in the US is not a death sentence, poverty in a third world nation is, once again what are you doing about it. If you're not doing anything I would pray that you get involved, seek the Lord's face and find what he would have you do and mobilize for that purpose today.

Woohoo!!

Joe

The Stapp Family Mission Statement

Well here it is, our mission statement. "The Stapp Family exists to impact its circle of influence for a multi-generational vision through the inspiration of both men and women returning to their Biblical roles, and the discipleship of their families".
You might ask how I've grown through this process of developing a rite of passage for my sons? Well, here is an example starting with this mission statement. This mission statement gives our family a direction, a purpose for it's existence. We all have to admit, whether we like it or not that many of us, maybe not all of us, but many of us are more deliberate about our finances, our retirement, our recreation and other insignificant things, than we are about our spiritual lives. When it comes to our relationship with Christ most Christians (at times even myself) are on cruise control. We go through the motions, church on Sunday morn, church or small group on Sunday night, church and youth group on Wed night, somewhere in there a Bible study or men's group during the week, and we're mindless about it. Have you been there? I know that I have been. It's time we live out our faith with a purpose and a sense of destiny.

How many businesses or organizations have seen that have a mission statement? How many "successful" businesses and organizations have you come across that have mission statements? Each and everyone I assure you. So why are you any different, are you the exception to the rule? Of course not, live your faith with a purpose. Find your passion, find that direction that our Lord has sent you in, that burden, that calling and put it on paper and mobilize for the glory of God. Tell your kids about it, they're not gonna get it through osmosis. They'll get it and understand it by you taking the initiative to tell them and teach them of the purpose of your family. This is what men that are the spiritual leaders of their households do, they step up and take the lead.

When asking the Stapp boys, "What does your family, the Stapp Family stand for?" They should answer, "Sir/Ma'am, the Stapp Family exists to impact its circle of influence for a multi-generational vision through the inspiration of both men and women returning to their Biblical roles, and the discipleship of their families."

WOW!! If each Christian family in this great nation could grasp this concept and implement it where do you think we would be? Instead we shamefully claim the name of Christ and subscribe to a culture that is slowly rendering us irrelevant and obsolete, and we just smile while the enemy disassembles us from the inside out. I challenge you all to pick up the torch, and make a stand, and live a deliberate Christian life with a sense of purpose!

God Bless,

Joe

Update on progress.

As I'm doing this project for my sons and keeping up on this blog it's easy to loose focus on some of the aspects of it. As you can probably imagine by the reading, there is allot of information to keep up with. Having said that I get caught up in trying to explain to you why I'm doing what I'm doing and still keep up with the learning curve that I've experienced over the last couple of months, especially with regards to spiritual leadership and a multi-generational vision for my family.

Thus far Wil has been working on one of his essays, at times having to redo it a couple times over until he gets his final draft which will be graded by a close friend of the family. His memory verses are coming along quite nicely, in fact I'm very proud of him. He has many of these verses taped up along the door post of his bedroom. It's good t see him taking this as seriously as I hoped he would.

The Crucible that he'll experience in the coming months is gonna be quite challenging for him. The good news is that both him and his brother religiously run every morning before school, they're now up to 3.4 miles. I'm really pleased with this progress and in fact we are all excited because they'll be running their first 5K on Sat October 10th. I'd be running it with them, but some recent surgery (nothing major) prohibits that at this time. Other aspects of PT (Physical Training) have been increasing like calisthenics and chin ups, all good stuff for building strong young men.

My only regret regarding this is that I took too long getting it set up for Wil. Unfortunately the oldest son usually gets shafted on great ideas like this because they become the "Guinea Pig" in most situations while the other boys reap the benefits of perfected systems. This time won't be any different other than bragging rites for being the first to get to do it. I'm pleased to say that the outline or "The Plan" as I like to call it is now complete except for maybe a few verses and building our spiritual and family catechisms. Having said that though because of the time restraints some of the requirements we'll relax, one of which is reading the Bible from cover to cover. He'll still be required to do it, he just won't have it completed by the time he conducts the Crucible. However, he does have a written plan to complete it, and is often checked on his progress.

This has been a tremendous exercise for me as much as it has been for him. We're far from done and can't wait to see the end product. I would challenge each of you out there to take this journey it's well worth it.

Catch you later,

Joe

The Plan (Phase 2 Family)

Well as I said before on the last post I had made some changes to "The Plan". As you can see under Phase 1 I added Voddie Baucham's Biblical Womanhood. This is important in that my sons need to know and embody the concept of Biblical manhood, in addition to that, they need to thoroughly understand the concept of Biblical womanhood too. I know this is stating the obvious but it needs to be said anyway (after all we as men aren't mind readers, right?) they review Biblical womanhood so that they know what to look for in a spouse when the time comes. A woman that understands the importance of Biblical principle, that has a vision of multigenerational discipleship.

Well back to Phase 2 (Family) of the plan, and some of the things that I've added there. Number 4 "What is the Stapp Family view regarding relationships with females?". What are your thoughts on this, have you even addressed it yet? Our culture and our individual history growing up subscribes to boyfriends and girlfriends, to what end though? A rendezvous in the back of a car or between the sheets when the parents are gone. Let's be honest where did this lead you? It lead me to failure because it wasn't addressed in my family. Sure my folks said that pre-marital sex was bad, and that sex should only be within the confines of marriage but that was it. There was no detailed outline of why not to do these things and the mentorship that should've accompanied these talks. A good reference that I would recommend on this topic is a book entitled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by a man named Josh Harris. Don't be fooled by the title, it's not quite what you might expect, and he does an outstanding job of discussing this topic.

Our boys need to understand the pitfalls associated with relationships with the opposite sex. They need to understand that they are as much responsible for protecting that young woman's virtue as they are about their own. We need to take our roles as "Protectors" of our sisters in Christ. They also need to understand that sexual purity is not an option it is a requirement, both before and after the wedding night. They need a mentor(You Dad) to regularly discuss these issues with.

For those of you that don't think this is possible and that these are unreasonable expectations in this day and time you better get a clue and quick. Get your head on straight and listen up. If Joseph could make a getaway from Potipher's wife, than so can your boys. It's a matter of having a game plan, a strategy, it's a matter of imparting to our kids what to do if they find themselves in that situation before they get into it. Better yet it's our job as fathers to train our boys not to get in that situation to begin with. If you as a "Christ Follower" have surrendered yourself to what this culture says is normal, you need to get on your knees and repent from this lie of the Devil! We might've stumbled in our younger days but it's not too late to turn the tide for this next generation. All we need to do is step up to the plate as the spiritual leaders of our households lead our sons.